Celebrating Birthdays: A Tradition of Love and Affirmation
Today is my wife’s birthday, and while I won’t reveal her age, let’s just say people often think she looks much younger than she is. A few years ago, we started a tradition for birthdays that has since become a cherished part of our family celebrations, particularly around the dinner table. It’s something that everyone looks forward to, and I’d love to share it with you.
Here’s how it goes: sometime during the meal, someone at the table will ask, “So, let’s take turns telling [name of the birthday person] what we love about them.” What follows is a beautiful and often tear-jerking time, as each person at the table shares what they appreciate about the birthday girl or boy. It’s a powerful and surprising moment that allows the person to be loved on in a way that is deeply personal and affirming.
Even those in our family who typically shy away from being the centre of attention are willing to embrace this tradition. When it was my turn to be on the receiving end, I found the experience to be like a positive shower, with the words of those around me washing over and through me. After each person shares, they usually come over for a hug, almost as if to seal the words they’ve spoken. It was in that moment that I truly understood not just the power of words, but the power of those who share them.
Research suggests that it takes about 5.1 positive words to offset one negative one. When we practice this tradition at our dinner table, we cover any negative words or experiences from the day with a flood of positive ones. It’s a ritual that strengthens our bonds and reminds us of the love we share.
So, what do you do for birthdays around the dinner table? Perhaps you could try our family tradition, or maybe even create your own. Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get the most out of it:
- Set the Tone: Make sure everyone is comfortable and knows what’s coming. Explain that it’s about sharing what you genuinely love and appreciate about the birthday person.
- Start with the Host: It might help if the person who suggested the idea goes first. This sets the example and helps others think about what they might want to say.
- Encourage Everyone to Share: Gently encourage even the quieter members of the family to share. Remind them that it’s not about grand gestures or long speeches, but about sincerity.
- Allow for Tears: Don’t be surprised if emotions run high. It’s okay to cry, laugh, or even be speechless for a moment. It’s all part of the experience.
- Seal it with a Hug: ask permission before you hug the person. But if they are keen go for it.
- Reflect: Take a moment at the end of the meal to reflect on what was shared. This could be done by the birthday person or anyone else who feels moved to do so.
As you consider this tradition or perhaps create your own, remember that these moments are what make birthdays truly special. They’re opportunities to express love in a way that might not happen as frequently as it should. So, why not start a new tradition with your family? What could it look like? Maybe you could come up with ideas together and make it a special part of your celebrations.
Birthdays are more than just another year gone by—they’re a chance to celebrate the people we love most.
