When was the last time you checked in with every single member of your family before the dinner table conversation ended? Not just the polite “How was your day?” but truly asking, “How are you going?”
At The Table Talk Project, we’ve designed every part of the Table experience with purpose. The Dessert section of the ‘Back at the table’ menu isn’t just an afterthought—it’s where the magic happens. After the food (Entree) has been eaten and the (main) conversation starters have sparked connection, dessert is the space to pause, reflect, and ensure everyone feels heard before leaving the table.
This part of the menu features two key questions that I want to dive into:
- What attitude are you leaving the table with?
- Is there anything else you wish you shared?
These questions are simple but deeply powerful. They open the door for honesty, vulnerability, and real connection. And I want to share with you why this part of the menu is so important—how it’s not just a wrap-up but a bridge to understanding and supporting one another.
A Moment That Changed Everything
One evening, during our family dinner using the Table Talk Project, we reached the dessert section of the menu. I’ll never forget it. I asked my daughter, “Is there anything else you wish you’d shared?” She paused for a moment, then, with courage, she told us she was being bullied at school.
Her words landed like a weight on the table—but also opened a pathway forward. Because she felt safe enough to share, we were able to have a real conversation about how it was making her feel. We talked about what support she needed, how we could advocate for her, and how she could navigate the situation. We involved her school and worked out a plan.
That moment reminded me of how crucial it is to create space for those “dessert” questions. Without them, we might have missed her pain entirely. It wasn’t just about solving the problem—it was about strengthening our bond as a family.
Why Dessert Matters
The Dessert part of the menu is a time to pause and reflect:
- What attitude are you leaving the table with? This question helps gauge if the experience has been positive or if something needs adjusting. It’s a check-in for everyone to share their perspective on how the conversation went.
- Is there anything else you wish you shared? This question creates space for the unsaid. It might be a small thought, a lingering feeling, or something deeper. Big or small, sharing in this moment can be transformative.
This isn’t just a tool for parents—it’s for everyone at the table. It’s a reminder that every voice matters, and no one should leave carrying something heavy they didn’t feel safe enough to share.
Practical Tips for Dessert Conversations
- Create a safe space: Remind your family that there’s no judgment here. Whatever they share, they are safe.
- Be patient: Not every conversation will dive into deep topics right away. Let the process unfold naturally.
- Be present: Put down distractions and give your full attention to each person’s response.
- Follow up: If someone shares something significant, take the next steps together. Whether it’s problem-solving or just offering support, let them know they’re not alone.
Don’t Skip Dessert
As parents, we’re often busy juggling a million things. But I want to encourage you: don’t rush the end of your table talks. Dessert is just as important as the entrée and the main course. It’s where we tie everything together and ensure everyone feels cared for as they leave the table.
So, the next time you ask, “How are you going?”—really mean it. Take the time to listen. You never know what might come up, but I promise you this: these moments will strengthen your family in ways you can’t imagine.
Let’s make sure no one leaves the table without knowing they’re loved, supported, and heard.
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