How to Encourage Your Child: Getting It Right and Why It Matters
Encouraging our children is one of the most impactful things we can do as parents. But it’s not just about offering kind words or a pat on the back—it’s about understanding how each child uniquely receives encouragement. Getting this right is crucial because the way we encourage our children can shape their confidence, self-esteem, and motivation.
Why Personalised Encouragement Matters
Every child is different. One child might light up at a high-five and a quick “Good job!” while another might need a quiet, heartfelt conversation to feel truly supported. Understanding how your child best receives encouragement is like discovering the key to their heart. It shows them that you see them, you know them, and you value who they are as individuals.
When we take the time to learn how each of our children prefers to be encouraged, we’re not just boosting their confidence—we’re building trust and deepening our relationship with them. This personalised approach can make them feel more loved, supported, and motivated to pursue their goals.
Practical Ways to Encourage Your Child
1. Encouraging Through Sports:
Let’s say your child is involved in sports. As parents, our role is to encourage them, but it’s important to align our encouragement with their goals. If your child dreams of becoming an elite athlete, your encouragement might focus on the importance of hard work, dedication, and perseverance. You might say, “You’ve got the talent, and if you keep putting in the effort, you can achieve great things.”
On the other hand, if your child is playing sports just for fun, your encouragement should reflect that. Here, the goal might be to build friendships and enjoy the game. Your words could be, “I love watching you play and have fun with your friends. Just give it your best out there and enjoy the game.”
2. Being Honest When Encouragement Requires It:
There’s also a scenario where your child may not be naturally gifted in a particular sport but has a dream of becoming an elite athlete. As parents, it can be tempting to tell them what they want to hear, but honesty, paired with support, is the better path.
For instance, if your child is struggling to keep up with others in their sport but is determined to reach elite levels, it’s essential to be both realistic and encouraging. You might say, “I admire your passion and determination, and I want to help you achieve your goals. If this is what you really want, you’ll need to put in extra work, and it might be challenging. But I’ll be here to support you every step of the way.”
This approach helps your child understand that while dreams are worth pursuing, they require effort, persistence, and sometimes a reassessment of what’s achievable. It’s about supporting their ambitions while guiding them with truth and love.
3. Tailoring the Encouragement:
Encouragement isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some children may thrive on public praise, like when you cheer loudly from the sidelines. Others might prefer a quiet word of encouragement after the game, where you sit down, look them in the eye, and say, “I’m proud of the effort you put in today.”
Another child might appreciate written encouragement, like a note in their lunchbox that says, “You did amazing yesterday! Keep up the great work.” The key is to observe and ask your children how they like to be encouraged. When you meet them where they are, it shows that you respect and value their feelings.
The Role of The Table Talk Project
The Table Talk Project is all about creating space for these meaningful conversations. It’s during these moments around the table that you can ask your child how they like to be encouraged. You might say, “I noticed you played really well today—how do you like to hear that from me? Does a quick ‘good job’ make you feel good, or do you prefer when we talk about it later?”
These conversations help you understand your child better and build a stronger relationship. By aligning your encouragement with how they want to receive it, you’re not just offering support; you’re showing deep, intentional love.
Why Getting It Right Matters
When we encourage our children in the way they prefer, we’re doing more than just boosting their self-esteem—we’re teaching them that their feelings and preferences matter. This lays the groundwork for a relationship built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. It’s about raising confident, happy children who feel supported in whatever they choose to pursue.
So, take the time to find out how your child likes to be encouraged. Ask them, listen to them, and watch their reactions. And remember, The Table Talk Project is here to help create those moments of connection where these important conversations can happen.
