Last week as a little treat for our family we decided to go out for dinner. This is not something we do all that often due to many commitments and lack of funds but when it happens it is special. Our favourite restaurant has closed down 😔 so we decided to find a good burger place that was not too noisy and of course had great burgers and chips. As we sat down we went on the restaurant APP and collated our order. Then it was the waiting game. I don’t know if you can relate but that period between ordering and waiting for your order is always a bit of mysterious one. Sometimes it can be chaotic as the kids try to find anything on the table to tap, rip or just hold. Or the pushing or the shoving starts because they are just bored. This night was also a special one because it fell on our Table Talk Project night. The night where we follow the set menu of Entree, main and Dessert. Entree is the food we eat and prepare, the Main is the Conversation Starter and Dessert is the check in to make sure everyone who leaves the table is going to be alright.
So.. We didn’t let the fact that we were in another environment stop us. We headed to The Table Talk Project website and clicked on BACK AT THE TABLE and away we went. First we entered in the food we had chosen which was burgers and chips then we clicked next and we landed on the Conversation Starter Page. We clicked on USE YOUR CONVERSATION STARTERS and chose EASTER as the topic. We then clicked on WHAT DOES EASTER MEAN TO YOU? As we went around the table we discovered that for each person Easter was about family and our faith and what they means to us. Chocolate and hot cross buns were mentioned but only later in the conversation. About half way into the conversation our food arrived and people began eating. I have to say it was seriously Yummy! 🤤 After sufficient food had been consumed and covered all of our faces we clicked on Dessert and we asked the question “Does everyone feel listened to and heard?” which everyone felt like they had which was a win. What attitude are we leaving the table with? Everyone said they were feeling positive about this experience which was good. We then asked if anyone else had anything to share? which no one did this time. As we wrapped this up we set a date for next week clicked on SUBMIT and just sat there a while with our food going down. A real satisfying time. Here is the data from our time together which is collected after clicking on submit.
Upon reflection I noticed three things I want to share with you about our time at the restaurant that was different than our time at home having our weekly Table Talk Project night:
- The family seemed more relaxed out
Sometimes at home we can come to the table with all of the “home stuff” that comes with it. Your mind is elsewhere because you are in your safety environment and believe it or not this can cause a bit of stress. So stepping outside of that environment provided the opportunity to sit, relax and fully engage. There was no other distractions. I also felt like the kids were better behaved which was a shock but also a pleasant surprise. I was intrigued by their extensive curiosity as we went around the room to ask the question and no one wanted to rush the answers through. I just felt like all around it was a more enjoyable experience for everyone being out as it had been a while since it had happened.
2. Commitment to the family transcends the familiar environment
Honestly we could have just not done The Table Talk Project, skipped it and that would have been fine as there is no ‘pass or ‘fail’ when it comes to TTTP. We still would have gathered, and we still would have had a good time together. However The Table Talk Project provides an easy to use structure to follow to make sure everyone has a voice even in a semi loud restaurant. I also wanted to show our family the importance of committing to doing The Table Talk Project no matter the environment and that gathering together to talk through a conversation starter can aid in building our relationships no matter what physical environment we are in. I think this was a positive lesson for our children.
3. We don’t know who could hear or see us in action
Whether we like it or not our lives tell a story and it leaves an impression on people. I believe this to be true for families to. Think back when you were having a meal in a restaurant and the family on another table was arguing, fighting or maybe just one of the family members was throwing a big tantrum. As a parent these things challenge me to think about how I would handle this situation and depending on what has happened it leaves an impression. At the burger place it was pretty full and there were people on the side of us. Not that we were intentionally speaking loud but, we have a pretty loud family… alright its just me 🤣 Anyway I knew that people around us could hear us and our conversation. So I thought by doing this, it might just inspire or spur other families on to do the same. No one said anything, just some looks but you just never know who is watching or seeing what is going on. I felt like we presented a good example of a real family who weren’t on phones the whole time and really enjoyed conversation.
As I finish this blog I want to acknowledge that some people may not be able to afford to go out to a restaurant every now and then and thats ok. You could do the same if you get minimum hot chips and head down to the park and sit on the bench or grass or bring a picnic that you pack from home. Stepping out of the current home environment may open up more conversation and find people more relaxed and not to mention whenever you are out you always tend to eat different or yummier food than home.
Let me know how you go? What was your experience like doing The Table Talk Project outside of your home? drop me a line at neil@thetabletalkproject.org.
