As parents, one of our deepest desires is to have open, honest, and meaningful conversations with our children. We want to be the ones they turn to when they’re worried, scared, excited, or even when they’ve made a mistake. But let’s face it—sometimes it feels like pulling teeth just to get a simple answer to “How was your day?”
So why is it that children don’t always open up to their parents? What barriers might be in the way? And more importantly, how can we create a safe space where nothing is off the table, and our children know they can talk to us about anything?
Why Don’t Children Talk to Their Parents?
Let’s start with the tough question: why do children hold back? For many, it comes down to fear of judgment or punishment, or even the belief that what they’re going through isn’t important enough to share. They might think, “Mum and Dad are too busy to listen,” or, “They won’t understand.”
Sometimes, children don’t talk because they’ve tried before and felt dismissed. A quick, “Not now, I’m busy,” or even a well-intentioned lecture can teach them that opening up might not be worth the effort.
And then there’s shame. When kids make mistakes or feel vulnerable, it’s hard for them to risk being misunderstood or scolded. They might hide what they’re feeling or pretend everything is fine, even when it’s not.
What Are the Barriers to Communication?
Beyond these personal reasons, there are barriers we as parents might unknowingly create.
- Lack of time: In the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget to slow down and create moments for connection.
- Distractions: Phones, TVs, and endless to-do lists can steal away our attention when our kids are ready to talk.
- Judgment or overreaction: If a child fears being judged, shamed, or punished, they’ll think twice before sharing again.
- Uncomfortable topics: Let’s be honest—some conversations make us squirm. But avoiding difficult subjects teaches our children that some things are off-limits, and they’ll seek answers elsewhere.
Creating a Safe Space: Nothing Is Off the Table
As the founder of The Table Talk Project, I know firsthand the importance of creating a space where kids feel safe to share. Growing up, I didn’t feel like I had a voice at the table. I couldn’t bring up tough topics with my parents—I didn’t feel invited to. I’ve carried that feeling into adulthood, and it’s shaped the kind of parent I want to be. I’m determined to create a home where my children know they can talk to me about anything.
To do this, I’ve worked hard to build an environment of love, support, and understanding. Here’s what I’ve learned:
- Children need to be invited to talk. A lot of the time, kids are just waiting for us to ask the right question or create the right moment. A simple, “You seem quiet today—what’s on your mind?” can go a long way.
- Listen without judgment. It’s not always easy, especially when emotions run high. But listening calmly and with empathy shows your child that you’re a safe person to come to.
- Be intentional with your time. Regular family meals around the dinner table provide the perfect opportunity to connect. That’s the heart of The Table Talk Project—using shared meals as a way to foster open, meaningful conversations.
How The Table Talk Project Can Help
Sitting down for a meal isn’t just about food—it’s about connection. It’s about showing your kids that no matter how busy life gets, you’ll always make time to hear their voices.
At The Table Talk Project, we believe that everybody deserves a voice at the table. By starting conversations during regular family meals, you’re not only building stronger relationships but also letting your kids know that nothing is off-limits to talk about.
Why Listening Could Save Your Child’s Life
The truth is, the space we give our children to talk could save their lives. When kids feel safe to share their struggles, it can prevent them from bottling up emotions that might lead to destructive outcomes.
We all want to be there for our children—to truly know what’s going on in their hearts and minds. But that takes time, effort, and intentionality. It means putting aside our distractions, leaning into the discomfort of hard conversations, and showing up, day after day, as a parent who listens.
Make Time—It’s the Most Important Thing
If there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s this: there’s nothing more important than listening to your children. The time and space you give them today could shape the adults they become tomorrow.
Let’s commit to being the kind of parents who create safe spaces for connection and conversation. Let’s be intentional about inviting our kids to share their hearts with us, and let’s make sure they know that no matter what, we’ll always be there to listen.
Your presence matters. Your listening ear matters. And your love could make all the difference.
