For us it was our teenager, sometimes they just didn’t want to engage. They thought talking around the dinner table was boring and always wanted to hurry the conversation up. We knew when they were bored and frustrated as this was the time they started to muck around or annoy the other kids. However that isn’t the case anymore, our ‘ONE’ disengaged child has become the most engaged. Always choosing to share first, giving others the opportunity to speak (most of the time) and listening and asking good follow up questions. But how did things change? In this blog we explore this a little but probably the most important step was that we were consistent in our approach. We as parents assured them that they have a voice and that doing The Table Talk Project Menu at least once per week is something we find will bring value to our home and relationships. We gave them a choice to be part of it and no one is ever forced to share. Over time they just grew to see the value. Check out some of these strategies that helped us below.
- Respect Their Independence: Teenagers value their independence and autonomy. Instead of pressuring them to participate in conversation, respect their need for space and independence. Provide opportunities for them to contribute on their own terms, without feeling forced or scrutinized.
- Choose Relevant Topics: Teenagers are more likely to engage in conversations that are relevant to their interests and experiences. Tailor the dinner conversation to include topics that resonate with them, such as current events, pop culture, or shared hobbies. By choosing topics of mutual interest, you’ll increase the likelihood of their active participation.
- Foster Open Communication: Create an environment where open communication is encouraged and respected. Let your teenager know that their opinions, thoughts, and feelings are valued at the dinner table. Avoid judgment and criticism, and instead, foster a supportive atmosphere where they feel comfortable expressing themselves freely.
- Embrace Technology: Incorporate technology into your family dinner routine to appeal to your teenager’s preferences. Allow them to use their device to click on Back at the table. Embracing technology can bridge the generation gap and make dinner conversations more engaging for everyone. I know this is controversial so we have made or recipes and conversation starters downloadable and printable so you don’t need to use devices if you don’t want to.
- Lead by Example: Demonstrate active participation and genuine interest in what your teenager has to say. Model positive communication behaviors by actively listening, asking open-ended questions, and expressing empathy. By leading by example, you set the tone for respectful and meaningful interactions at the dinner table.
- Create Rituals and Traditions: Establishing rituals and traditions around family dinners can make them more appealing to teenagers. Whether it’s Taco Tuesday, Pizza Night, or a themed dinner party, create fun and memorable experiences that your teenager will look forward to. These rituals can foster a sense of belonging and make family dinners more enjoyable for everyone.
- Be Patient and Flexible: Teenagers may be going through a period of self-discovery and growth, which can sometimes manifest as disengagement or reluctance to participate. Be patient and understanding, and avoid taking their lack of engagement personally. Stay flexible and adapt your approach based on their individual preferences and comfort level.
Engaging a teenager in family dinner conversations can be challenging, but with patience, understanding, and the right strategies, it’s entirely possible. By respecting their independence, choosing relevant topics, fostering open communication, embracing technology, leading by example, creating rituals, and maintaining flexibility, parents can effectively connect with their teenagers and strengthen family bonds. Remember, the goal is not to force participation but to create an environment where everyone feels valued, heard, and respected. Together, let’s make family dinners a time of connection, laughter, and cherished memories.
