When you’re a couple raising children whether married or not it’s incredibly easy to forget about you. Not just you as individuals, but you as a couple. The daily juggle of school drop-offs, activities, errands, and work often leaves very little time, space, or energy to nurture the relationship at the core of your family. Yet, if we truly want to be the best parents we can be, we must start with the foundation: us.
You’ve probably heard the airline safety metaphor before put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. The same applies to parenting. If we aren’t taking time to care for and connect with each other, how can we expect to have the patience, emotional clarity, and communication skills to show up fully for our children?
The truth is, connection doesn’t just happen. It requires intentional investment. Date nights, shared laughter, deep conversations, spontaneous kisses, 20-second hugs these aren’t luxuries; they’re lifelines. When we stop investing in our relationship, communication erodes. And when we can’t communicate with one another, how can we model healthy communication for our children?
Our children need to see us putting time and love into our partnership. It teaches them what respect, intimacy, and collaboration look like in real life. It tells them that love is active not just a feeling, but a practice.
Let’s be honest: if we’re constantly running around, eating meals on the go, and living parallel lives under the same roof, we risk more than just burnout. We risk drifting apart. We lose the intimacy and sense of unity that brought us together in the first place. And over time, that distance can lead to resentment, loneliness, or emotional disconnection.
So pause for a moment and ask yourself:
- When was the last time we sat down just the two of us without distractions, and truly talked?
- When did we last hug for more than a quick second or share a lingering kiss?
- Do we regularly check in with each other emotionally, not just logistically?
These may seem like small gestures, but they’re deeply meaningful. They create the glue that holds not only your relationship together but your family as a whole.
We’re so quick to show up for our kidswhy not show up for each other, too?
Because when we do, everyone benefits.
So the next time you’re scheduling soccer games and dance classes, pencil in a date night, too. Or a walk. Or a quiet morning coffee together. Because in the midst of parenting and life, we might just be forgetting someone very important:
Each other.
Try This This Week: A Simple Connection Plan
Let’s make this real and doable. Here’s a plan you can try this week to reconnect, even with a busy schedule:
1. Plan a 30-minute no-phone conversation
- Choose one evening this week.
- After the kids are in bed, sit together somewhere comfortable at the table, on the couch, or even outside (might be a bit cold if you are in Victoria but could make for snuggling).
- Light a candle or make tea to set the tone.
- Talk. Really talk. Not about the kids or the to do list. Ask each other:
- What’s been on your mind lately?
- Is there anything you’ve been needing or missing?
- What’s something that made you smile this week?
- The goal isn’t to fix anything just to listen, connect, and be present.
2. Share a 20-second hug or kiss every day
- Yes, 20 seconds. It might feel awkward at first, but that intentional pause sends a powerful message: we matter.
- It boosts connection hormones like oxytocin, and it resets your nervous system.
3. Pick one moment of fun together
- Laughter is bonding. Choose one simple thing this week:
- A board game or card game
- Watching a funny show
- Cooking something new together
- Dancing in the kitchen
- Taking a walk without talking about the kids
These small moments are how we build strong relationships in the midst of busy lives. When our children see us making time for one another, they learn what love looks like in action—not just sacrifice, but connection. Not just caregiving, but partnership.
And when we feel seen, heard, and cared for as partners, we parent from a more grounded, unified place.
So this week, let’s remember: we are part of the family, too. Let’s stop forgetting each other.
The Table Talk Project are passionate about supporting parents to strengthen their relationship so the family can be strong. This is why we run Date Nights through our Table Talk Cafe.
We have parents either single or couples come to a cafe and share in a 3 course meal with a few other people at their table. One of our team will take you through an immersive experience of using our tools to help facilitate meaningful conversations so that you will be able to take this tool back to your families to share it with them.
If you would like to find out more about one of these date nights please get in touch with us here.
